As someone who has been active in the endurance community for a long time, I felt an obligation to my younger competitors to pass along some sacred words of wisdom to live by. These 10 rules are designed to help create harmony and balance with your spouse or significant other in an already chaotic and busy world.
1. Communicate, communicate and, when you are done, communicate some more!
2. Contrary to popular belief, the weekend is not designed only for long rides and long runs. I know it is hard to believe but for the longest time I was perplexed.
I swear somewhere in the Old Testament God mentioned something about Thou shalt go long on the weekends and who am I to argue with the big guy. But, believe it or not, other things get done on Saturday and Sunday - time with the family, yard work and shopping.
3. Your word needs to be your bond. Picture this: “Honey, I am going out for a three-hour ride this morning” and six hours later you return and you wonder why he/she is not happy. He/she says: “But I made plans for us today.” You throw gas on an already five-alarm fire by responding: “Oh, what’s the big deal, it was only an extra three hours.” Stick to your time schedule!
4. Try doing your own laundry. Each day workout clothes pile up (running apparel, bike kit, swim towels, a litany of jackets and sweaters) and start to take up valuable real estate in a hamper built for the average person. Picture this: It’s 5am and you are getting ready to go and meet the buds for your long ride. You notice your favorite bike shorts are still dirty and in the hamper. Hum, should I wear them anyway? Be honest, its been done. Advice: this is not the time to tippy toe back into the bedroom and whisper into your spouse’s sleeping ear: “Honey, when were you going to do the laundry?”
5. All your gear, I am sure, has a designated shelf, closet, hanger or cubbyhole where it all belongs. Picture this scenario: You get done with your run and you come in the front door. Being a thoughtful and responsible person, you remove your shoes with the intention of putting them away later. Your spouse/significant other says nothing and you go about your day. He/she must not care that you leave your stuff at the front door. But later in the day as you are ready to go and look for your running shoes you call out: “Honey, where are my running shoes?” You get that staunch reply: “In the closet where they belong.” Suggestion, if your spouse/significant other takes the time to put your stuff away, you can to.
6. Most triathletes eat a regimented and specific diet to optimize their energy. Your daily consumption could consist of nutritionals, fruits, vegetables, energy bars, power drinks and protein shakes. And, don’t forget your special cookies. “Honey, where is the organically-grown vegetable bean dip I usually have with dinner (which, by the way, is being served in 5 minutes); didn’t you go food shopping?” Suggestion: keep a running list of the items that you need daily, weekly and/or monthly; and, what is the word I am looking for, oh yes, communicate well in advance that you are running out of something.
7. One of the very best ways of treating yourself after a tough week of training or a tough race is a massage. The truth is it would be advantageous to include this expense into your training budget. More to come on that. However, on those rare occasions when you ask your spouse/significant other to give you a quick rub down after a workout and he/she asks you how did that feel and you respond you don’t seem to touch me in that same spot as well as Olga does each week is not a good response. Obviously, the yoga classes must be working well for you to get your foot all the way up into your mouth. Accept the rub down graciously with a heart-felt thank you!
8. Create a line item for your training stuff within your budget. Designate monies for nutritionals, race entry fees, training/race gear, etc. If you are looking to purchase a new pair of Newtons, go for it. The money is in your account. You stop at the health food store on the way home for your nutritionals (you now do your own shopping) and, no problem, the money is there. You may want to avoid this scenario: Your spouse/significant other comes home after a long day at work, walks in the front door having to maneuver around your brand new Cannondale Slice and asks “whose bike is this?” You reply: “Oh, I didn’t tell you?”
9. Men, this is specifically for you: After a long day you and your spouse/significant other are sitting on the couch watching your favorite program. You nestle close together and she puts her hand on your leg and says, “Wow, your legs are smoother than mine. When you shave your legs what razor are you using?” You start to think: play stupid with this one, what razor do I use? She repeats the question. You reply: “Why, Lady Bic of course, why do you ask?” She states “I was wondering why my razors are always dull, why don’t you use your own?” “Well, if I use my own, I won’t have any to shave my face with.” Guys, sanctity in the shower is important. Honor this humble but important piece of real estate and, though you may be fond of Lady Bic, get your own.
10. And, when all else fails, revert back to #1 – communicate!
#9, is so true.. LOL
ReplyDeleteGreat list! With us both working full time and 3 kids at home, my husband @trimon29 convinced me the only way triathlon training AND marriage would work is if we both did and did it together. I gave in grudgingly. That was 5 years ago, and I am hooked. And, it is 99% easier for us than most couples as a result. But the list still applies. And if you aren't training partners, this list should be your bible...if you want to stay together.
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